By Kimberly Edwards//Photo Credit: Danny Sellers
Yes, it seems as if everyone’s getting engaged these days. We’re going out less, getting into more serious relationships, and enjoying people’s company in more intimate settings. This doesn’t go for everyone, but it’s happening.
I’m not here to talk your ear off about getting engaged and the pros and cons, though. If you want to do it soon and you’re ready for it, great. If not, great.
One thing is certain: get ready to plan attending weddings in your schedule for the next several years. Yes, I mean several. It’s like the next bar/bat mitzvah and sweet 16 phase in life, if you remember being invited to these events almost every weekend growing up.
I’ve been invited to 6 weddings in 2018, and it’s only February. I know that being a guest is an honor, and weddings are incredibly expensive, so I’m going to do my best to make sure I attend these special days.
Having attended a few weddings so far, and planning my own, has taught me a few things about “wed-iquette”. Note: I’m strictly referring to being a guest or member of a party at a wedding – not actually getting married.
In short, I define “wed-iquette” as making things as easy for the couple and their families as possible. It’s an incredibly stressful time and balancing the desires of others while keeping your ideal wedding vision in mind is easier said than done. Here are just a few tips that make life easier for everyone so that you can be the best kind of guest you can possibly be!
- When you know you can go, put it in your calendar. We’re in the golden age of technology. Your phone and e-mail all come with calendars and it takes a matter of seconds to determine whether you’re able to attend a wedding. Add it to your calendar ASAP.
- If you can’t go, RSVP anyway. If you can’t go, you can’t go. It’s proper etiquette to respond, “No.” You don’t want to waste anyone’s time. Additionally, if you can’t go, then let the couple know outside of checking the box on the card. Again, we have phones and e-mails as means to contact the couple. If you know that the couple is sensitive about the subject, put it to them gently. We all have things that come up.
- If the couple doesn’t have a +1 option on the RSVP card, don’t ask for a +1. Like I said, weddings are expensive. The cost per plate can easily cost a few hundred dollars. Markups exist because someone is having a wedding – reception locations light up at the word and certainly charge extra. Most of the time couples will have a disclaimer about the number of seats they have reserved in your honor, or an indication of +1s. Do not be disappointed if they decline your request for a +1.
- Give a gift. Whether it’s through a registry, or cash, a gift is always appreciated. It’s something that people don’t forget.
- Wear appropriate attire. Black tie means tuxedos/full suits and gowns (traditionally, tuxedos). Cocktail attire means suits and short dresses. Casual doesn’t mean you can go in yoga pants and a t-shirt. Hopefully you know how to dress in these settings. Don’t be the odd person out at a black tie event.
- Thank the couple the day/night of the wedding. Thank them for having you there and inviting you to their special day. You’re obviously wanted there for a reason. It shows appreciation and the love you have for the couple.
The list can go on and on, but in short, it’s common sense. Be a gracious guest, and when it’s time for your special day, you’ll hope for the same.
Until next time,
Kim